And Just Like That

Well, through all the expectation and anticipation and prep and talking myself into the fact that it is going to be okay, it’s over without any big bangs. I talked myself into being okay with turning 50 from the minute I turned 49. I woke up today and thought, I for real do not feel any different. I have the same adult responsibilities and the same adult relationships. School will still start back the same day and I will walk into a classroom trying to teach my students about the subject I teach and life lessons as well. Some will love me for it and some will dislike me for it. My son is still the same beautiful soul he was Tuesday when I was 49. My youngest niece still made me laugh so hard that I had tears this morning when I picked her up. Life really didn’t change. I mean, my eye sight isn’t as good as it once was, and yes, I have a few aches that I didn’t have at 25, but I am still here and I am still the same person.

What I tend to focus on, and again, as I have said in previous blogs, I am a work in progress, I focus on what I don’t have way too many times. But man, I made it to 50 and I am ready to reinvent myself. I am ready to walk into a room and people smile because they see my confidence. They say to themselves, “Look at that bad bitch.” I know that seems silly, but I am ready to live life for me. I have never had a lot of confidence, but deep down, I know that I should because honestly, I really am kind of a bad bitch. I have a lot a great qualities that I need to focus on. Physically, changes still need to made, and I am in the process of that. Mentally and emotionally need to be healthier, and I really think I am headed the right direction. so it is time that I let me be the light the world needs. I have always heard that you are never too old to change. I agree that as you have been a certain way for many years, it is hard to be different, but you can be. I am tired of promoting everyone around me but me. Not that that will change because I love building people up and watching them live out their dreams. I like to push people to be better versions of who they already are, but I don’t do that with myself very well. Well, and I say with confidence, it’s damn time that I do.

As you read this, I hope you find a take away from it that benefits you. My advice, don’t wait to reinvent yourself as late as I have, but, in reality, it doesn’t matter when you do it; all that matters is that you do. Be that bad bitch and take on this world with all you have. Now, I am not saying leave damage along the way. What I am saying is be someone you can look back at and know you did it with all you had but didn’t bite people’s heads off and leave carnage behind. After all, the only thing you can take with you when you die is your name, so make it a good one.

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