Hmmm, let’s stick with the fear aspect, you know, to follow up with yesterday’s fear of heights. If you haven’t caught on, a lot of my blogs build on each other, so be sure to go and read the others. Some are sad and some are silly, but I started this whole blogging exercise to release me, so here we are.
First of all, I feel fear is a learned behavior. Often times you hear of something that someone is scared of and you develop this sense about you, maybe subconsciously, that you too should be scared of it. Don’t get me wrong, I know sometimes something happens to you that caused you to develop that fear, but again, I personally think that would be considered “learned” as well.
My next fear is spiders. My dad was scared of them, and now both my brothers and I are scared of them. Learned behavior. However, I was at the point that I would almost throw up when I saw one. I was mowing one day and ran into a spider web and couldn’t finish mowing. I would say this became an irrational fear. I was pregnant then too, so I told myself, on that day, that I would not have my son growing up so scared of something because of me, so I worked at becoming, let’s just say, less fearful. I would try to study each spider a little more and admire certain aspects about them. The only thing I truly admired was their webs. Wow, you have to admit, their ability to make webs and how strong the webs are, if only we could make our own houses and life’s defenses the same way. Hmmm, see where I am going with this? But seriously, I have a rule with these arachnids, if you stay in your space and don’t invade mine, then I will leave you alone. Most listen. I call those spiders that like to make the huge webs off my porch the “Charlotte Web Spiders”. Yes, I know they have a name, but I don’t love them that much that I want to learn what kind they really are. I give all of these names and they usually are a play off the name Charlotte, it makes me more comfortable with allowing them to stick around.
Okay, I have a spider story to tell you about a spider that didn’t follow my rules. I was sitting in my chair in my living room minding my own business when I see something out of the corner of my eye run right by me. It looked huge so I had to investigate. I got up and saw that it ran into my pantry, so I opened it and looked and couldn’t see it. I thought, leave it alone, he isn’t bothering you, but that last statement wasn’t true. I must have killed a relative of its or something because it came back for me. As I am sitting in my same chair, it runs by again, however, this time he came much closer to me. I thought, I have warned all of you that if you step into my space, then it’s lights out. It disappeared again. I knew it ran toward my door so I went that way. As I was looking for the sneaky little sucker, it RAN ACROSS MY FOOT! Amongst all the screaming, I was able to find a shoe (I think) and it came running at me again! I kid you not! It was on a mission! So I slammed the shoe down, hoping not to miss, and started yelling, “I told you not to invade my space!!!” I yelled that several times. I wish I had all of this on camera. As I carried the thing outside to toss it I kind of felt bad, and I whispered, “Why couldn’t you just stay in your lane?” I still wonder what it had against me. I guess we will never know.
Two things here I want to focus on. One, fear can be temporary. You don’t have to live afraid. Conquer your fears. Whether it be things like spiders and heights or just living your dream, do NOT let fear hold you back. Fear has always been my enemy. I let fear keep me from doing several things and adventures in my life, so I am speaking from experience when I tell you not to let it hold you back. Next, build your foundation like a spider builds its web. Make it so strong that it catches what you need to to survive in this world. It takes a lot of force to break it, and your goal could be to make it unbreakable. Make that foundation unique and wonderful, again, just like a spider makes its web. And, DO NOT be afraid to place that foundation wherever you need to place it to keep living.
Don’t get me wrong. I do not want a pet spider. I just choose to exist with them, and I do know which ones I don’t want to exist with, and those usually do not get a second chance, but I did not want to be that scared anymore so I chose to overcome, which is what I am doing with these blogs of mine.