Who’s Your Biggest Enemy?

Roy T. Bennett said to “Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly you have to give up what weighs you down.” Often times what weighs us down is our own self-worth. Do you value yourself enough to move forward or do you think you are stuck in the spot that you are in and can’t do anything about it? Self-worth is a funny thing. I had the best parents in the world, but they were realists. If I had a dream, they were not the type to tell me to go and chase that dream because I can do anything I put my mind to. No, they were the opposite of that, especially my mom. By chasing your dreams, you might put yourself in a situation that can hurt you. You know, pull away from God. My dream was to sing. I am not saying I am good enough to do that, but I sure wasn’t encouraged to try it out. As a matter of fact, my sister-in-law asked me to sing in my brother’s and her wedding. My mom’s response was “Are you sure?” She was convinced that if I pursued anything in music that I was just asking for it. Her favorite quote, “You lie with the dogs you are going to get dirty.” I suppose she was right to an extent, but it sure would have been nice to have her in my corner.

Now, let me take a time out here and let you know that I am not bashing my mother. She may not agree with all of my decisions, but I know she will always have my back. She just saw a one way direction in life and hated it if any of her children wanted to go another direction.

So did my mom’s lack of encouragement and support, you know not supporting the dreamer side and pushing the realist side of me make me lack confidence or self-worth? That I can’t answer. I am almost certain it did, but I know it would kill her if she knew I thought that it did; however, I don’t think it was the biggest piece of this puzzle.

So who really is my enemy here? I know my mom didn’t push me to pursue my dreams, but I do now know she would have supported me (after she got over it) if I did because that’s the type of mother she is. I think my enemy was me, however, I used my mother as the excuse because it was easier. I didn’t want to fail; therefore, I didn’t try. I know there is so much more to failure now, at the time, though, I did not.

The next question would be “How do you develop self-worth if you’ve never really had any?” I’m not sure. I can say that I stepped out of my box to start a blog, so maybe, just maybe, the first step is stepping out of that box.

I can also tell you this, I do believe me lacking self-worth led to a lot of my weaker decisions in life. I always felt I was not good enough, so I didn’t try to be better.

Moral of this blog. Your enemy is probably you. It’s never too late to start working on your self-worth.

P.S. I mentioned that both of my parents were realist when I started this blog, but honed in more on my mom. My dad was a dreamer at one time. I thought he had written a book. but Mom told me the other day he didn’t, but I still swear that he did. Hmmm, did Mom block that out? He did; however, see the importance of focusing more on the real side of life, but he would have definitely been back there whispering in my ear to continue on if I told him that is what I wanted to do. So again, I was my worst enemy.

#selfworth #believeinyourself #getoutofthatbox

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